Board Thread:Fun and Games/@comment-26084716-20160115023928/@comment-27281654-20160521012547

Season 2

SUDDENLY, the ground begins to shake. Purple and black gas is appearing.

UJ: Really? After all this?

Mohawk: Look out! There's an announcement!

PA System: EMERGENCY! ALL CATS COME TO THE MAIN FOYER. REPEAT — ALL CATS COME TO THE MAIN FOYER. YES, EVEN YOU, BONDAGE CAT.

At the main foyer, an eldritch, purple and black portal has opened up. A shadowy figure with a spiky, repulsive haircut is standing in front of us.

Mohawk: What happened!

Shadowy Figure: Oh, I'LL tell you what happened. We came to take over the world.

Mohawk: Wait, what?

Shadowy Figure: Yes, it's true. We are the ones prophesied to rule the world. I am... UBER MANIC MOHAWK CAT!

Mohawk: We'll let you take over if you're nice.

UMM: No, I plan to torture you all for eternity.

Mohawk: Get him! Let's stop him!

UMM: Aww, how amusing! They still want to play... try it.

Mohawk lunges, but is blocked by a crystal shield of purple energy.

UMM: See why that was a bad idea?

Mohawk: Maybe.

UJ: Can you stand up to the power of the UBER CRAZED CATS?

UMM: Why, yes, of course.

UMM tackles UJ and smashes him against the floor. UJ is in shock. UMM stands there, smugly.

UMM: My 8 brothers have gone to the corners of the continent. You'll need to take us all down to save your insignificant little lives. I'm not even going to wish you good luck. *vanishes*

Mohawk: Well, that was certainly something.

Eraser: Wait... I sense something to the west! There's a terrible evil presence coming from there!

Mohawk: West it is, then.

A vast plains. There are very few hiding places for Cats, but lots of open space.

Spammed to cause damage in a horde. Poison drains a Cat's health by 0.5% every 5 seconds, over 60 seconds. Nurse Cat can cure it, Archer Cat makes all Cats in its range immune.

Damages Cats from long distance. Can't even hurt what he's aiming at.

Does no damage, but spawns in minions.

Extremely small. Extremely weak. Extremely annoying.

Once you get halfway, a Darkness Hippoe appears, and the spam changes.

Tough, with a fast attack, high power, and a lot of health and range.

Small and weak, but fast and annoying.

Another little speed demon.

Yet another weak and annoying spam unit.

Once you get to the castle, your Cats go inside. Time for a follow-up stage!

A shorter, harder, more brutal version of The Great Plains. Once you get to the end, you see the boss...

Mohawk: Okay, Manic guy! The jig's up! Give up peacefully, and no one gets hu-

SLAM

Mohawk: (already dirty and badly injured) Wh-what was that?

Uber Manic Eraser: Get ready to meet your worst nightmare.

Mohawk: I've seen worse.

Eraser: Wait... you're the evil presence!

UME: Why, yes, that's me.

Eraser: Well, why did you do this?

UME: That's my function. We Uber Manic Cats were put into this world to destroy all.

Uber Manic Dragon: Except me!

UME: We have an alternate universe version of you that does want to destroy all.

UMD: Nyah, shit.

UME: And now, to commence with the first thing on the agenda: killing you!

KUCF: Maybe... but we have to remember one thing... the horde never stops...

UME: Neither does my health.

*laser*

The laser has no effect.

*god arrow*

The arrow has no effect.

UME: If you're done trying your little toys, can I just kill you already? I really want to try out my instant death pit...

Mohawk gets an idea bulb over his head.

Mohawk: Well, why don't you try it right now?

UME: I know you want to throw me into it... but I just can't resist. Guards! Dark pit - ring out edition!

The battle takes place on a circular platform, with a radius of 100,000 length. Your job is to knock UME back off of it. Fear not! Although he has infinite health, he gets knocked back every (FOOT(FOOT(FOOT(FOOT(FOOT(FOOT(FOOT(FOOT(FOOT(FOOT(FOOT(FOOT(FOOT(FOOT(FOOT(FOOT(FOOT(FOOT(Complete, Utter, and Total Oblivion)))))))))))))))))))))) damage. What a relief!

Once you beat him, this happens.

UME: No... NO! *hangs on to the edge with one hand. yes, UME has hands. look it up)

Mohawk: We offer to spare you now.

UME: Spare... me?

Mohawk: Of course! We believe that no enemy is bad enough to be irredeemable. Join us!

UME: ...no one has ever been nice to me before.

Mohawk: We'll be more than happy t-

UME: with good reason!

UME grabs Mohawk, and falls into the pit.

Mohawk: That was a serious dick moveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

...

Eraser: I think I need to lie down for a bi-

BLAM!

A dark, although not shadowy figure, flies up carrying Mohawk.

Eraser: ...could it be...

Flying Cat: Yes, IT IS!

Eraser: How did you come back to life?

Flying Cat: I heard some big demon guy say "It's not your time. Go."

Eraser: Was it Teacher Bun Bun?

Flying Cat: yes.

Eraser: Well, that explains it.

Mohawk: I though I was a goner for a while there!

Flying Cat: You really should know better by now.

Mohawk: Well, he seemed promising!

Flying Cat: So did Crazed Bi- wait, where's K. Dragon?

Mohawk: He is dead.

Flying Cat: ;-;

Mohawk: What were UME's last words, anyway?

Flying Cat: As I grabbed Mohawk, he said "I declare, with my final words, that my brothers will inflict a torture on you so great that you will wish that it all ended here." His eyes glowed black, somehow, like they were chewing up the light.

Mohawk: I'm sure it's nothing serious.