Board Thread:News and Announcements/@comment-31529890-20170831044018/@comment-30983898-20170924023607

GeoDash! wrote: Popsicle30 wrote: Leaked Conversation from PONOS Corp. (translated)

Lead Developer: "Ok Team, we are going to need to release a new sub-chapter, any ideas?"

Staff Member 1: "What about an all-Metal level?"

Lead Developer: "We already did that about 5 times."

Staff Member 2: "What about a level with timed Assassin Bears?"

Lead Developer: "We did that and it didn't turn out to be as strategic and unique as we hoped."

Drunk Staff Member 3: "Throne of Phone"

Lead Developer: "Yeah what about that level?"

Drunk Staff Member 3: "More Brollow, endless Brollow."

Lead Developer: "Ok but that requires the player to have an Uber like Divine Kai..."

Drunk Staff Member 3: "what of course not, let's make it so every cat gets one shotted!! Even if the player brings 9 meatshields they still die LOL"

All except Drunk Staff Member 3: "..."

Lead Developer: "Ok fine we can do it I really want my paycheck, don't bother to playtest it just put it out there. Why should we waste time making strategic and complex levels when you can just add OP Brollows?!"

Someone got fired

At least PONOS isn't head by RobTop or else this will happen:

RobTop: "Hey guys I have a bunch of new features planned out for yall so first off there will be like 100 new cats and 100 new enemies like isn't that so amazing? And then there will be a whole new set of chapters for the Main Chapters called Universe of Cats, it will have three chapters about the Cats trying to take over the universe and there are new hybrid Red/Alien and Black/Alien and Angel/Alien and Zombie/Alien enemies and in each chapter the final boss will be Metal/Alien, so finally some Metal enemies not a variant of another, amirite? Oh and so were gonna add all these event stages, oh and did I tell you about my new ideas?"

Staff: (yawns)

RobTop: (seemingly ignoring Staff) "So I'm gonna make this now thing called Keys, you can use them to buy new levels which can reward new Cats, cool, right? And that reminds me, there's gonna be a new thing called Shards, there's gonna be Fire Shards and Ice Shards and Poison Shards and Shadow Shards and Lava Shards, IRK? So when you get enough of one type of shards or enough of each type of shard, you get a brand new Cat, for example, 5 Fire Shards or 15 of each shard, so cool, right? Also, you no longer need to beat stages to earn XP, you can get more XP just by killing enemies/dealing damage to enemies/summoning cats/just sitting there. IRK, it's so awesome! Oh, and we're going to add a level editor! AMAZING!!! And a lot more! So, who's with me?"

Staff member 1: "Uh, RobTop?"

RobTop: "Yes?"

Staff member 1: "Shouldn't this be 7.0, since there's so many new features?"

RobTop: "We still hae 5 more updates to go! 6.6, 6.7, 6.8, 6.9, and FINALLY 7.0! And trust me, all those updates will be YUUUGE!!!"

Staff member 2: "But that'll take a year to release!"

RobTop: "Oh who cares"

Staff member 2: "But then all the players will beat all the stages and then have nothing to do and then they'll get mad at us and delete the game and rate 1 star!" (sounding really desperate) "WE CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN!!!"

RobTop: "Oh who cares they'll live"

(Note: some ideas taken directly from Geomtery Dash.)

RobTop: "Coming soon to the game in December"

What I see: "Coming soon to the game in 2020"