Thread:Ethanlac/@comment-27186148-20151126193604/@comment-27281654-20160224230237


 * OH YES. THERE YOU ARE, DARLING.


 * IT'S TIME TO HAVE OUR LITTLE SHOWDOWN.


 * IT'S TIME TO FINALLY STOP THE BIG BAD CRAZED LIZARD.


 * LOL NOPE. GET REAL.


 * THIS WAS ALL JUST A BIG SHOW.


 * AN ACT.


 * PARIS CAT HAS BEEN PLAYING YOU FOR A FOOL THE WHOLE TIME.


 * AS SHE WATCHED YOU ON THE SCREEN, SHE GREW ATTACHED TO YOUR ADVENTURE.


 * SHE DESPERATELY WANTED TO BE A PART OF IT.


 * SO SHE DECIDED TO INSERT HERSELF INTO YOUR STORY. SHE SOLVED PUZZLES. SHE DISABLED ENEMIES. SHE ENLISTED ME TO TORMENT YOU.


 * ALL SO SHE COULD SAVE YOU FROM DANGERS THAT DIDN'T EXIST.


 * ALL SO YOU WOULD THINK SHE'S THE GREAT PERSON... THAT SHE'S NOT.


 * AND NOW, IT'S TIME FOR HER FINEST HOUR.


 * AT THIS VERY MOMENT, PARIS CAT IS WAITING OUTSIDE THE ROOM.


 * DURING OUR "BATTLE," SHE WILL INTERRUPT.


 * SHE WILL PRETEND TO KILL ME, "SAVING" YOU ONE FINAL TIME.


 * FINALLY. SHE'LL BE THE HEROINE OF YOUR ADVENTURE.


 * YOU'LL REGARD HER SO HIGHLY SHE'LL EVEN BE ABLE TO CONVINCE YOU NOT TO LEAVE.


 * ... OR NOT.


 * YOU SEE, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS PREDICTABLE CHARADE.


 * I HAVE NO DESIRE TO HARM CATS. FAR FROM IT, ACTUALLY.


 * MY ONLY DESIRE IS TO ENTERTAIN. AFTER ALL, THE AUDIENCE DESERVES A GOOD SHOW, DON'T THEY? AND WHAT'S A GOOD SHOW... WITHOUT A PLOT TWIST?

[Paris Cat] H-hey! Why is this door locked?


 * SORRY, FOLKS! THE OLD SHOW'S BEEN CANCELLED! BUT I'VE GOT A FINE REPLACEMENT FOR YOU... IT'S TIME FOR THE SEASON PREMIERE OF "ATTACK OF THE KILLER REPTILE!"


 * YES, I WAS THE ONE THAT RE-ARRANGED THE TUNNEL!


 * I WAS THE ONE THAT HIRED ALL THOSE KORIES TO KILL YOU!


 * THAT, HOWEVER, WAS A SHORT-SIGHTED PLAN.


 * YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE A HUNDRED TIMES BETTER? KILLING YOU MYSELF!


 * You use Dioramos, but it has no effect.


 * THAT WORTHLESS PEA-SHOOTER WON'T WORK ON ME, DARLING. DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT ACTING IS!?


 * LISTEN, DARLING. I'VE SEEN YOU FIGHT.


 * YOU'RE WEAK.


 * IF YOU CONTINUE, BERSERKORY WILL TAKE YOUR SOUL.


 * AND WITH YOUR SOUL, BERSERKORY WILL DESTROY ALL CATS.


 * BUT IF I GET YOUR SOUL, I CAN STOP HIS PLAN!


 * I CAN SAVE CATS FROM DESTRUCTION!


 * THEN USING YOUR SOUL, I'LL CROSS THROUGH THE BARRIER... AND BECOME THE STAR I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF BEING!


 * HUNDREDS, THOUSANDS... NO!


 * MILLIONS OF CATS WILL WATCH ME!


 * GLITZ! GLAMOUR! I'LL FINALLY HAVE IT ALL!


 * SO WHAT IF A FEW PEOPLE HAVE TO DIE? THAT'S SHOW BUSINESS, BABY!

[Paris Cat calls] U..uh... I can't see what's going on in there, but... D-d-don't give up, okay!? Th... there's o-one l-l-last way to beat the Crazed Lizard... It's... um... it's... This is a work-in-progress, so don't judge it too hard... But, you know how he always faces f-f-forward? That's because there's a scale on his backside. S-s-so if y-y-you c-c-can turn him around... um... And, umm... pull th-th-th-the scale... He'll be... um... He'll be... Vulnerable. Well, g-g-gotta go! [Paris Cat hangs up]


 * OH??? A MIRROR??? RIGHT, I HAVE TO LOOK PERFECT FOR OUR SEASON PREMIERE! HMM... I DON'T SEE IT... WHERE IS IT...?


 * DID YOU. JUST PULL. MY SCALE.


 * Transformation happens


 * Ohhhhhh yessssssss...


 * Ohhhh my.


 * If you flipped my switch, that can only mean one thing.


 * You're desperate for the premiere of my new body.


 * How rude...


 * Lucky for you, I've been aching to show this off for a long time.


 * So... as thanks, I'll give you a handsome reward.


 * I'll make your last living moments... ABSOLUTELY beautiful!

Crazed Dragon Cat makes his premiere!


 * Lights! Camera! Action!


 * Drama! Romance! Bloodshed!


 * I'm the idol everyone craves!


 * Smile for the camera!


 * Oooh, it's time for a pop quiz! I hope you brought a keyboard... This one's an essay question!

SHIT HEAD


 * Huh? This essay is supposed to be about me, not about you.


 * Your essay really showed everyone your heart. Why don't I show you mine?


 * Oooh, I'm just warming up!


 * But how are you on the dance floor?


 * Can you keep up the pace!?


 * Lights! Camera! Fire!


 * Things are heating up!


 * Time for our union-regulated break!


 * We've grown so distant, darling... How about another heart-to-heart?


 * A.. arms? Wh... who needs arms with a mohawk like this? I'm still going to win!


 * Come on...!


 * The show... must go on!


 * Dr... Drama! A... Action!


 * L... lights... C... camera... Enough of this! Do you really want all cats to perish!? ... or do you just believe in yourself that much?


 * Haha, how inspiring! Well, darling! It's either me or you!


 * But I think we both already know who's going to win. Witness the true power of the cat's star!


 * ... then...


 * Are YOU the star? Can you really protect humanity!?


 * Suddenly, the ratings on his show reach 10000.


 * OOH, LOOK AT THESE RATINGS!!!


 * THIS IS THE MOST VIEWERS I'VE EVER HAD!!!


 * WE'VE REACHED THE VIEWER CALL-IN MILESTONE!


 * ONCE LUCKY VIEWER WILL HAVE THE CHANCE TO TALK TO ME...


 * ... BEFORE I LEAVE THIS PLACE FOREVER!!


 * LET'S SEE WHO CALLS IN FIRST!

[Ring]

[Otta-Smack-U] ..... oh........ hi... crazed lizard... I really liked watching your old show... my life is pretty boring, but... seeing you on the screen... brought excitement to my life... vicariously. I can't tell, but... I guess this is the last episode...? I'll miss you... crazed lizard...... ... oh.... I didn't mean to talk so long... oh...........
 * HI, YOU'RE ON TV! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ON THIS, OUR FIRST SHOW???

[Hang up]


 * NO, WAIT! WAIT, OT.... H... THEY ALREADY HUNG UP. ... I'LL TAKE ANOTHER CALLER!

[Unknown callers]
 * Crazed Lizard, your show made us so happy!


 * Crazed Lizard, I don't know what I'll watch without you.


 * Crazed Lizard, there's a Liazrd-shaped hole in my crazed heart.


 * AH... I... I SEE... ...


 * EVERYONE... THANK YOU SO MUCH.


 * ... DARLING.


 * PERHAPS... IT MIGHT BE BETTER IF I STAY HERE A WHILE.


 * HUMANS ALREADY HAVE STARS AND IDOLS, BUT CATS... THEY ONLY HAVE ME.


 * IF I LEFT... BATTLE CATS LAND WOULD LOSE ITS SPARK.


 * I'D LEAVE AND ACHING VOID THAT COULD NEVER BE FILLED.


 * SO... I THINK I'LL HAVE TO DELAY MY BIG DEBUT.


 * BESIDES. YOU'VE PROVEN TO BE VERY STRONG.


 * PERHAPS... EVEN STRONG ENOUGH TO GET PAST BERSERKORY. I'M SURE YOU'LL BE ABLE TO PROTECT THE CATS.


 * HA, HA... IT'S ALL FOR THE BEST, ANYWAY.


 * THE TRUTH IS, THIS FORM'S CRAZE POWER CONSUMPTION IS... INEFFICIENT.


 * IN A FEW MOMENTS, I'LL RUN OUT OF FIRE POWER, AND...


 * WELL. I'LL BE ALRIGHT.


 * KNOCK 'EM DEAD, DARLING.


 * AND EVERYONE... THANK YOU. YOU'VE BEEN A GREAT AUDIENCE!