User blog:Ethanlac/Battle Cats - The True Villains?

As I'm sure many of you here think, the Battle Cats are (ostensibly) the heroes of the series. They fight against the nefarious hordes of Teacher Bun Bun to create a better world.

... or so you may think.

For in reality, I have come to the conclusion that the Battle Cats are actually the enemies of our beloved series! In this blog post, I will be sharing with you all the reasons for this.

=Part 1: The Appearance=



Cats are cute. Therefore, Battle Cats must be even cuter. However, this also makes them more sinister in a way. Imagine, if you will, playing as a Doge, one of the enemies of the Battle Cats. You're just going along your day, doing your thing, when a group of weird-looking, rotund... THINGS appear. They act a lot like you, and fight a lot like you, but are unlike anything you have seen before. Also, they all have the same grin. It looks cute at first, but when every single one has it, it seems to look sinister, brutal even.

So you try to fight, and get beaten. You run to the next country, and the next, until you arrive at Japan. Suddenly, they send a tank. You are relieved. If there's anything that can stop these monsters, it's a TANK! But they just smash past it, using tall monsters, monsters with blades, and long-legged monsters to do the task.



This continues for a while. You eventually reach the home of your chief, located on the Moon. He tells you that he has an army hundreds strong, ready to give the monsters the kick in the ass they deserve! You are delighted. Your journey was not in vain! You grab your weapon, preparing for the final showdown...



And you lose. The monsters seem to have lost at the beginning, as the chief slowly comes out in his tank. However, they send a giant monster, with incredibly large fists and arms, and a horrifying face. It punches past all of the troops your chief sends, only being stopped by a direct hit from the cannon of the chief himself... Then they send another. And another. And another. And it continues, with four-legged fast horned monsters, flying laser monsters, and giant scaly dragons, all with that sinister grin. Your chief is overwhelmed, and is killed in the brutal melee. The monsters didn't leave enough of him to put in a soup can. The castle falls soon after. You take a ship back to Earth, and kick-start a rebellion in the place where it all began...



This goes on again, with your new chief still dying. You are scared. Both the old and new chiefs were pleasant to be around, and jovial. The birthday of your first chief passes. Finally, the president decides enough is enough, and goes down there with a thousand other men to stop the monsters! You decide to help as well, and go in to stop them.





At first, the mission appears to be successful. You have stopped the threat! The president congratulates you personally, telling you what a great job you did. But then... they come back. The monsters have gotten stronger, sending in many dragons. Your president fights fiercely, using a fighter jet. However, the monsters send out a lady carrying a spear. You watch her. She seems beautiful, almost ethereal. However, she is soulless and empty inside. She uses a spear to hit home on your president, killing him as well as an artillery platoon and an infantry group.

You try to run... but there is no escape. As the monsters close in, you are trapped. There is no one to help you. You are the only one left. As their jaws close around you, you bravely resist... to no avail. One of them eats you. The last thing you hear before the eternal emptiness that will soon overtake you:

~Nyan!

... what the hell?

Copyright Ethanlac 2016. Please let me know what you think.