The bearbershop quintet, now in color! Compared to the Audience Bears, they are slower, have fewer knockbacks and do less damage with each attack, but don't let that fool you into thinking they're harmless. They can Knockback, Freeze, Slow, Weaken, and/or Warp any unit in their large attack range, and thanks to their multi-hit ability, they have three separate chances for all of these status effects. While still not much of a threat by themselves, they can easily cripple your units (or remove them from the field entirely), allowing other enemies to advance unimpeded. Their greatest weakness is the number of traits they have, giving the player no shortage of units that can deal effective damage or status effects on them, assuming they can get into range.
Multi-Hit (400 at 15f 0.5s, 400 at 30f 1s, 400 at 60f 2s)
21% chance to knockback Cat Units
33% chance to freeze Cat Units for 90f 3 seconds 33% chance to slow Cat Units for 90f 3 seconds 33% chance to weaken Cat Units by 50% for 90f 3 seconds 21% chance to warp Cat Units back by 500 range for 30f 1 second *Stats shown are with all Anti-unstarred Alien Treasures.
Black = Daiko "Miyazon" Miyazono of Anzen Manzai (same guitar and haircut)
Angel = Seiya Ishikawa of Shimofuri Myojo (same necktie, wears a white suit)
Alien = Kazuhiro Unagi of Ginshari (same haircut, suit and tie)
Zombie = Natsu Ando of Maple Chogōkin (chubby, same glasses, similar haircut, wears purple)
This is alluded to by the Japanese stage names in Bears be Bare and Bears Be Back, most of which are related to comedy.
This also makes them the character with the most references.
If one looks very closely, they can see that during the Variety Bears' attack animation, the guitar stays in the Miyazon-Bear's paw even though it has no opposable thumbs.
They have the most traits of any enemy, only lacking the Traitless, Metal, Aku and Relic traits.
They are the only Angel enemy to also be Floating, contradicting Angel Fanboy's message of "Angel Alert!Angels ignore anti-Floating attacks!".
They and Johnnyleon are the only Zombie enemies not to revive.
Despite their inability to revive, the Zombie Killer sound and graphic will play if they are defeated by a cat with that ability.